8.25.2015

decisive.

if i could just
wake up every
morning to
the sound of your
voice

my favorite sound

could just wrap
myself in your
arms as i wake, breathe you
in

my favorite place, my
favorite smell

lingering throughout the
day, catching me
off guard as i
bend and turn and
breathe
deeply
in your absence

i am so used to
deciding things, i am
decisive but i did not decide
shit with you, i just
loved you the moment i
met you

8.18.2015

want.

i want
to hold your hand, lean
into you, breathe you
in

i want
to wake up thinking about you, fall
asleep to dream about you, ease
into you

gently

i want
good morning and good
night texts and
smiley emojis and
to hear all the
boring details about your
boring day

i want
lunch dates and
coffee together in the
morning sometimes and
sneaking away for
just
a few
moments
with you

i want to fill all my
otherwise boring little
pockets of
time

with you

because filling them with
you means filling them with
smiles, with
laughter, with
joy, with
feeling like i have finally come
home, i want
to fall
into you

whoops, i am
already falling, so
catch me
please.

8.11.2015

fearless.

i mean, i'm not, but

when life is upside down and i cannot
remember how to put
one foot in front of the
other, metaphorically, and the only
sure thing is the
ground beneath my
feet, i

climb.

and ten thousand feet up in the
air, when i remember how to
breathe, feel the
cool breeze brush my
face, i
remember

i can do this.

and i guess i'm grateful i fell
apart and got
put back together in a way that i
learned how to
conquer my
fear, but

listen.

sometimes being the
one that's not
afraid means you're the
one left
behind.

don't.

i want to
see you, but i
don’t

want to
hold you, but i
don’t
want
to cry

i want to quit
hurting, quit
being on the outside, quit
feeling
so
invisible but i cannot quit
you

i want to, though
want to quit you, but i
don’t

8.05.2015

cathartic.

i have no letters, no
photos of you to
set
ablaze

just
this
aching

i mean, call me dramatic, i guess, but
have we forgotten what it is
to wait?

i guess i could say sorry i
needed a minute to
catch my breath, but

listen.

did you really think i wouldn't come for you?