12.07.2012

reckless.

i am
a long drive
a late night at work

a whisper in a confessional

i am her inevitable heartache, your
erection, and i
am drowning

11.30.2012

i close my eyes and breathe.

your scent
your arms
around me for the
first time in such a
long, long
time

your fingers tangled in mine

the silence
the magnetism
the moment

9.04.2012

33.

i hit the
snooze button too
many times this morning because you
weren't there to let the
sunlight in, and i

keep staring at this
half-empty beer in the
fride, wondering if i
should finish it for you or just
toss it out and

how long until i change my
facebook status to
"widowed" or
whatever it is i'm
supposed to be
now

there are small pieces of you everywhere, you know
and i

don't know how to do
any of this without
you by my
side

so i hug myself like i
think you would and i
close my eyes and
tell you goodbye and i try
to remember how to live
without you

6.11.2012

become like children.

he picnics under
grey skies, storm
looming overhead
giggling and running and ceaselessly
marveling at the
beauty all around him

he never misses an opportunity to
stop and smell the flowers or
ask someone new to be friends or
hug someone sad or
clean up a mess or
any of the other little things i am
far, far too busy to even
notice

he breathes with a
persistent internal melody
unencumbered by circumstance and
saturated with joy and
i want that

6.03.2012

when nothing's been said and little's been done but it's still over.

i can never
apologize enough for my
imperfection, for never
being just what you
needed, because that was
all i ever
wanted

i know i can be
difficult and
entirely too
particular, but i also know that
someday, someone will
love me for me and i
will be happy and so
will you.

3.14.2012

i have a shower curtain and no hooks.

my whole life is like that.

incompletes and
fragments and
missing pieces and just
not
enough, and i'm

tired.

3.10.2012

sad songs.

i guess i write a lot of
sad, sad songs, but i ain't
tryin' to get anyone
down, i just
got a lot o' stories to tell and i don't
want anyone feelin'
alone.

2.10.2012

gone.

i was turning into someone
beautiful, someone i could
stand to
look at in the
mirror and then you
were gone and i

was nothing.

i am little apart from my
vices, my
failures, my endless
shortcomings and
fondness for the
bottle.

pour me a drink so i can
forget all this, just
disappear into
someone else for
a spell.


written for movaten.

2.03.2012

affair.

the forbidden kind of
fruit is so
much sweeter, so
alluring

scandal masked by
pleasure, just
a fling, an
affair

i want so
badly for there to be a
next time, my
body next to your
body, hands intertwined
your lips meet
mine, so

intoxicating, so

very wrong, still
feels so
right

saying goodbye feels so unfair

i hope i pass you on the street and i
hope you have found happiness with her and we
can look at one another with
smiles in our eyes and
on our faces, remembering the
night we shared and

walk on.


written for movaten.

1.25.2012

broken.

there was always a
girl inside me a little more
shy and awkward and
scared than i'd like to
admit

and then she knew pain and she was
nothing that she
was before and You
put me back
together so much
better than before

1.06.2012

everything seems to fall just out of reach.

for twenty
seven
years, i

waited.

for you, for something
real, something
strong and true and
lasting

and it was
over before it
began

leaving me feeling an
utter failure

jaded and
disappointed and
occasionally angry and
shattered and
divorced

forever might be out there, maybe it’s
just not for someone like
me



written for movaten.