3.22.2005

False Pretension Strategy

With each day's dawn, the game continues
You dance in circles around me
With each petal I pick I'm supposed to remember you love me
Your goodbye came three days later
A dreamer's fantasy was in the works
But you never told me I don't meet your standards
I'm dizzied by your intentions for our future
Your weakness, your burden
It becomes your project
Yet the next moment there is no possibility
There will never again be an "us"
We're friends, but we're more, but we're less
We don't know what to be
We're confused, more or less
You're content in your words
But I feel your longing in your elegant embrace
So progresses this false pretension strategy
Such a travesty
Such a tragedy
With it dies the love we once shared

I Whispered to the Wind

Your consumption of me is revealing itself
I told myself so many times that I'd forgotten you
And had just started believing it

I whispered to the wind and a storm blew through
I never knew such a small string could tie such a comlex knot
But here you are again

I remember everything about you, the love and the hate
I thought that you were gone for good this time
But oh, how I missed you so

Your overwhelming charm is like a gravitational force
I told myself so many times I was over you
And had just started believing it

I whispered to the ground and the earth quaked
I never knew such a small desire could weild such an obsession
But here I am again

I remember everything about us, the hello and goodbye
I thought you lied when you said we would be together again
But oh, how I ponder it so

3.09.2005

Kill the Enemy

I know of the failures behind your smiles
They haunt me more
With each passing breath they remain
Secret
Buried inside my sea of illusions
Created to hide you
Where the world is saved
From the burden they force upon you

They're all drawn to your honesty
Your supposed strength
Your faith
Your boldness

They're all burned by your shortcomings
You collapse under the weight
Of the cross you carry
And starve your admirers
Of the example they earnestly seek

And so continues the pattern of disappointment
They develop self doubt and unhealthy tendencies
They turn their backs and people whisper
They've got issues
And hatred and mistrust
And fear and loathing
And no grasp on the significance of their actions

This is the sermon you preach on your mount
Offer your body as...
For all the little children to mimick
One by one conforming to the path of destruction

Then the means of your elimination dawns on me
Comes to me bearing new hope
And so this blasted sand kisses pavement
Released from my iron clad grip
And I know this is the last time you will cut me
The enemy is dead

3.07.2005

My Last Goodbye

Let's fuck each other
Well fuck each other up
I've found refuge in you
From anger
From pain
I've forsaken everything for one night
One last escape
Girls envied me once
I bragged about him for hours
But there you remained
Beckoning to me from so far off
Taunting me
Tempting me
A relationship founded on sex
And maintained for such
Laced with false trust and fake smiles
Disguised as common interests and laughter
So we fuck each other
And we fuck each other up
And I run away from anything that's good
For the fear of rejection
Likened to to the denial you handed me time and again
We're not so highly dissimilar
That we don't understand each other
I guess that's why I hate you
I'm sick of people understanding
My heart is pleading for someone to help me
Help me out of this mess I created
This is my last goodbye