1.23.2005

Murder

I can still feel the goosebumps
Raised my the warmth
From your breath on my neck
As you whispered so softly
So gently you spoke
Three little words

So full of passion
So full of deceit

I can still feel the butterflies
Fluttering by the warmth
From your arms wrapped around me
As you held me so tightly
So loving your affection
Always desiring closeness

So full of passion
So full of deceit

I can still feel the hatred
Raging by the cold
From your comforting hand upon me
As you ended it so abruptly
So beautiful your betrayal
Pretty little lies

So full of passion
So full of deceit

1.20.2005

Happy Poem

I want to write something happy
Devoid of anger
Violence
Lust

I want to write something beautiful
Something soothing
Calming
Uplifting

I want to write something inspirational
Something devoid of your memories
Our lust
My sin

I want to write something moving
Something intimate
Spiritual
Sensual

I want to write something optimistic
Devoid of regret
Shame
Ignorance

I want to write something meaningful
Something with voice
Strength
Faith

I want to write something significant
Devoid of silence
Emptiness
Unholiness

I want to write something touching
Something with wisdom
Experience
Victory

You've left me so unhappy
Devoid of passion
Emotion
Soul

I want to write something happy
I want the poet back
I want to write something happy
Something happy

The Pattern of Disappointment

You called me today
My heart raced
You thought of me
Long enough to dial my number
You wanted to talk to me
Enough to initiate the conversation
I gave up on you once
But I never forgot you
I can't erase you
And here you are again
I can't believe it's you
You want me again
Let's hang out
Let's make out
Let's let the world disappear into us
Let's have sex and forget love exists
Again
Let's laugh together
You say you have no expectations
But you don't know if you can do this
Do what?
What goes through your mind
When you think of me long enough
To dial my number
It must have been good
To keep you hard long enough
To make the desperate effort
To come crawling back to me
Again
It must have been good
For me to care
For me to answer
For me to hope
For me to be disappointed
Again
I'm seeing a pattern here
You're an addiction
You're my failure
Again

1.18.2005

Remembrance

Your shadows still flash before my eyes

Every time I close them to try to escape you

You're haunting my every thought

He whispers those three words softly

As they grace my lips I whisper your name

Longing for you to come rescue me from this prison

This life without you

You were my laughter, my color, my freedom

The world spins slower each day you're gone

Each time I begin to forget you

I can hear you calling my name

Your scent overwhelms me

Your voice, your kiss, your embrace

The stars never seemed so far away

I think they left with your eyes

As did everything else good on this earth

Nothing sparkles without you