8.15.2004

I Will Always Remember You

I remember the times you were jealous and reckless and careless and I could care less. The plain and not-so-simple fact is you tore us apart with your doubt. My heart is severed and you're drinking all my blood from that whiskey bottle, love. Hold it close, close than you ever let me get to you. I hope the bitterness gets you in the end, like yours destroyed me.

I would drown you in my sorrows if I thought you could feel the pain. You are the epitome of numb. I can't find anything in the bottom of my heart for you this time, I can't even find my heart. My chest cavity lies empty, though I remember when it was filled with dreams, with your false ambitions for happily ever after.

So I will reach to the bottom of my jacket pocket and pull out the end of my pain. This is the part where I wish I could hold you close and tell you everything's going to be okay. But instead, I pull the trigger, God have mercy.

8.04.2004

Parchment Escape Route

I hold delicately the sharpest tip I possess, pressing in hard to draw the ink. I watch as it stains the pure innocence of the parchment, as it spreads. Others would say this symbolizes my desire to draw your cold blood to the surface. That these words are the only thing keeping you alive, my parchment escape route. Except you're the only one escaping here.

If this be my only means of expression fitting to how I feel, then I will take this road. I will take the path that protects you, as much as I want to hate you. As much as I want to take this opportunity to show you what you really are. As much as I desire to show you how far you've fallen, my love. I will save you one last time, I will save you from myself. Goodbye never tasted so sweet for you.


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I wonder if I should be sad about wasting this title I've had in my mind for so long on someone I don't even care about anymore.