4.28.2004

Mister Wrong

Nice guys always finish last, but you never will

I'll find you, I'll love you, we'll conquer the world together

You'll never have to feel pain alone again

I've fallen in love with you

You're sheer perfection in my eyes

I won't leave you like they did

I'll be yours as long as I'm alive

If you're Mr. Wrong, I'll be Mrs. Wrong

You're still my Mr. Right

I grow weak in the knees at your half-smile

Your full-fledged grin melts me

Your laughter is my que for happiness

Your sorrow for my encouragement

Your life is my completion

Wherever you are, you're beautiful

You're everything I ever dreamed of and more

I could lie in bed for hours lost in thoughts of you

Of us

My laughter is your joy

My life is your completion

I'm everything you've ever dreamed of and more

In love with God together forever

Whisper those three words so soft and gentle

Cuddled close under the stars

Every time I shiver, I smile at your chilled arms around me

Trying to keep me warm

I feel like I could say a thousand words

About what I see in your eyes

In your heart

I could tell the story every day for the rest of my life

Of how we met

Our first kiss

Our first night together

We could leave a legend together

Show the world what the word love means

Bury their lust with something truer, deeper

Come out of bed, love, the day is bright

The birds are chirping

You're still the most adorable man ever, gray and tired

You're still everything I dreamed of, even if you can't remember my name

Everything I ever hoped for, even if you forget who I am

Your side is my home, I will stick by you all my days

I love you

4.27.2004

Sugar Coated Candy

Call me eye candy, I'm all lies

In your eyes I'm not real

But I see past your sugar coating

I've tasted your bitter core

Mask everything for the beauty of the world

The love of acquaintances will suffice

For you

False pretenses can't deliver a whole sense of being

Emptiness will overwhelm you in the end

Victory is something I wish I could shun

But it insists upon visiting my doorstep

Wrongdoing is your forte, and Godliness mine

I wish I could give you love

I wish I could open your eyes

Past the sugar coating

Past the sour interior

To a new creation

But you call me eye candy, I'm all lies

I'm not real in your eyes

Wallow in your self-infatuation

Smile on the outside in your man-made paradise

Await the day the truth will prevail

I'll be here bearing this knife in my chest

Waiting for you to come around


--

Yay me, I actually wrote about my own life for once. That felt good.

4.19.2004

The Beauty of My Heart

Screaming at the top of my lungs

But all you see is me smiling

All you see is who you think I am

All that I wish I was

Wish I could be

Bleeding from my heart for you

But all you see is me laughing

All you see is who you think I am

All I wish that I was today

Wish that I could be for you

For me

For everyone else who thought there was more to this

More to this than fabricated lies

More to this than believing in a fairy tale

More to this than the reality

This is the reality

I'm nothing

I deserve nothing

Kill me slowly with every breath

Closer to the end

Closer to becoming what I am

Every day I continue breathing, seeing

Continue feeling, tasting

But I'm not alive anymore

I can't feel anymore

Can't breathe you anymore

4.09.2004

The Whirlwind

Suck me into the whirlwind

I can't fight you anymore

I hate the word love

Indulge myself in your glamour

I don't care about the lies

I love anyway

Suck me into the whirlwind

Because I can't fight me anymore

I hate the word love

I hate to love you

I'd love to hate you

Indulge myself in your glamour

Earn myself a front row seat

To the failure of compassion

The success of deception

I want to smile

I can't fight myself anymore

Here is your victory

Silver lining and all

My open heart for you to bury with your lust


--

I so ripped myself off with that.
In January, I wrote a poem ending with the lines:
This is my inspiration
Silver lining and all
My open heart for you to bury with your lust


Sometimes I feel like I write the same thing all the time, the same words, the same phrases. I don't know... blah. [/rant]