12.31.1999

a second.

god,
thank you for taking two seconds out of your day
to create me.

thank you for taking two seconds out of your day
to die for me.

thank you for taking two seconds out of your day
to forgive me.

thank you for taking two seconds out of your day
to give me life.

thank you for taking two seconds out of your day
to live my life.

two seconds of your day is how long my life is,
make it worthwhile.

help me to take two seconds out of my day
to surrender it to you.

help me to take two seconds out of my life
to live it for you.

help me to take two seconds out of my day
to tell someone about you.

help me to take two seconds out of my life
to thank you for giving it to me.

help me to take a second out of my life
to make it an instrument for you.

help me pay attention to the seconds in my life
because taking a second could mean so much.

12.24.1999

Why?

God, my life has ended
And I am standing at the gates.
But there is not a spot for me,
I must leave this place.

And yet I know where I’ll be sent,
And I will not go
Until the reason I must depart
Is something that I know.

God, I lived a good life,
I was nice I helped the poor.
There were many were worse than me.
Please, please open the door.

I tried not to swear, to steal, to lie.
But still the gates stay closed.....why?

Do you not remember me
Setting you aside?
I told you you could trust in me,
In me you could confide.

But your heart and soul rejected me,
Not letting me set you free.

Did you not believe me when I
Told you what I’d done?
Or did you just not care that I
Had sent my only son?

He lived a perfect life
And He only came to die.
It was you who wouldn’t accept my salvation,
And I ask you.....why?

9.09.1999

betrayal.

i don't really know when i wrote this, other than that it was in '99. and for english class.


Amazing how cold you can feel on a one-hundred degree afternoon, or how hot you can feel on a zero degree night. Betrayal, whether it be words, thoughts, or someone's actions, stirs some of the strongest emotions in life; guilt, anger, love, and hatred. A person who feels nothing after betrayal is a person with no heart.

Betrayal is everywhere from the grocery store to the place you call home. Have you ever betrayed your best friend, watched her heart be torn apart by the man of her dreams, then seen the smile on his face as he kissed you? Have you ever wanted something so badly, even had it within your grasp, and then watched it be snatched out of your hands after you were so close? Have you ever trusted a person who then put you through unbearable pain? Betrayal exists through human nature, for brother will betray brother until death. There has never lived a man who has never felt the pain of betrayal. In fact, I anticipate the day I die and meet the only one who has never held the guilty end of the stick.